The easy part of our relationship has ended, and the hard just started. Nope, we didn't bring forward our "deadline" of 10 Oct; in fact, we pushed it back to a date that God Himself will determine. In a lot of ways, this decision is better than a simple yes or no.

Why are we doing this? Is SK feeling uncomfortable of our relationship? Well, kinda. It seems that we have kinda conveniently made God take a backseat these days, especially me. I have been focusing on SK more than seeking God after He has given me the convictions. I'm very grateful to SK for being so brutally honest in sharing her reflections. God spoke to me through her sharing when we met for dinner today.

We've been meeting almost everyday for the past two weeks, enjoying each other's companionship so much that I hardly set aside (quality) time seeking God's will on our relationship. SK feels that we are not submitting our relationship enough to God; we have put each other above our need for God.

In addition, SK also feels that we have not been spending enough time understanding each other's character. Well, we do have some feel of each other's character in general, but it is not enough. What if I have some jarring flaws, which have not surfaced, that she can't accept? She said that we should also ask our friends to help us "assess" each other because, after all, we might be blinded by love now. She also suggested that we should start visiting each other's church as a means to find out our understanding of God's words.

Her sharing today reminded me of my concern about a month ago. Before my confessions of my feelings for her, I asked her whether we should cut down our intense messaging, emailing, and "dates." Back then, I was very concerned at the speed our "relationship" was progressing; I thought we ought to slow it down so that we could have more time to know each other better. Well, after my confessions, as well as my acceptance of her past and my God-given convictions, things seemed to simply progressed exponentially instead. While I cannot deny the exponential progression might be God's work, I think I shouldn't have tossed out my concerns of "chemistry rush" totally either.

SK felt burdened, and suggested resetting our focus in seeking God. We both agreed our relationship needed God more than ever, as it progressed too fast, and we both wanted to start this relationship with marriage in mind; there is no turning back once we start. SK has a conviction that she will not start this relationship even if she only has a single doubt. She said she would give her all when she was very sure our relationship was indeed God intended.

I am really thankful that I have met SK. God has ministered to me through SK so much that I have already received a lot of blessings even when we have not started our relationship. SK is truly a great companion to have in my walk with God. I believe she will not be upset if I put God before her... It's not easy, but I'm more than willing to try... :)