Despite I have decided not to traverse the emotional spectrum again, I accidentally made a short trip in it, and hurt SK in the process.

Earlier, she reminded me the possibility of us breaking up one day, with which I responded with the oh-so-standard answer "yup, I am aware that God's answer may be negative." I guessed I hadn't fully internalized that answer because when SK said this evening that she couldn't somehow find the peace to start our relationship officially, I was again thrown into confusion. I spoke some hurting words - words which didn't went through my brain 'cos I said them in the spur of confusion - that grieved SK. However, SK was patient enough to wait for me to apologize, for she knew I was saying those words in the spur of my confusion.

Somehow SK has this amazing ability to bring the best out of me; or to put it more correctly, SK has the capabilities help me change for the better by accepting and pointing out my flaws. Well, I wouldn't say I've become a better person today, but at least, I know what traits of mine I need to work on.

Our affections for each other have grown at breakneck speed, therefore, I was once again way too ahead of myself like I did in September. I believe SK loves me as much as I love her, but she is just short of that peace to start our relationship officially. In fact, she told me that she thought we officiated our relationship last night when we were praying together; perhaps, that peace she had last night was but a flash. I really pray that God will give her the peace she needs. Or the conviction for me to leave SK if this isn't His intended relationship.