Day 2 of SK's weekend diving trip, and I'm already missing her terribly.

I do not know how to control my affections for SK, and that causes me to experience unnecessary emotional swings. I guess this is simply the effect of being in love for the first time¹ with someone who reciprocated² to my feelings; and in this case, SK. I am truly, madly, deeply³ in love with her now. Right now, I'm just pouring out all my affections that I have been accumulating all these years⁴ to her.

Every moment she is with me, I feel so loved. Every smile she shows, I'm so mesmerized. Every word she says becomes our secret. My world becomes wonderfully different when she is with me.

Last week, I told SK that I decided not to traverse the emotional spectrum anymore. Toggling between no-holds-barred and guard-your-heart made me very emotionally unstable. Instead, I told her that I chose to love her as unconditionally as I could even though she was still seeking the peace from God. I want not to have regrets for not loving her enough should our relationship don't work out. Yes, I may be hurt greatly when things don't turn out well, but at least, I would be comforted that it is not because I don't love her enough. I know my decision has a double-edged effect, but I am willing to stick to it out of my love for SK. I know I'm clumsy handling my emotions, but the feelings that I've been showing her are as pure as they could be.

For now, I'm praying that SK will return from her trip safely. And I want to tell her I love her very much...

¹ I hope SK will be my last as well... :)

² Technically, she hasn't reciprocated: her reciprocation starts officially when God has given her the peace.

³ I know, I know this song sounds very cliché, and SK has already "reprimanded" for saying that to her.... :p

⁴ Yes, I know this sounds cliché too... Haha... :p