I finally understand my pattern of choice after reading The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. What it enlightens me the most is when Barry differentiates the behaviors of Optimizers (aka Maximizers) and Satisficers.

By and large, I am a satisficer in most things, but when it comes to relationships, my "must only go for the best" desire takes over my mostly satisficing nature, and turns me into a maximizer! No wonder I couldn't get into a relationship for so long! No wonder I have always been unhappy about my singlehood!

Barry explains in his book that too much freedom actually burden, instead of liberate, our minds because we have to keep making decisions. Imagine having to choose from a dozen flavors of chips, drinks, and biscuits when you are in a supermarket. And that's excluding the brand! There are just too many choices for our puny minds. And now, imagine choosing from a dozen types of medications, without a doctor's recommendations, for whatever illness you are suffering from. This time, a wrong choice may cost your life. Sometimes, life is easier when well-informed people/professionals make some decisions for us.

Barry also says that the (tremendous) efforts spent searching for the best (clothes, spouse, jobs, etc) essentially drains the energy out of a person (most likely a maximizer). By the time a maximizer makes his decision, he will still have a lingering thought that something better is just 'round the corner. Therefore, maximizers rarely enjoys their decisions despite the huge amount of effort spent searching.

I enjoyed reading this book, as it brought an awareness of my maximizing behavior. Next book to conquer: The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life.