A lot of things has happened over the span of two months. Things like:
- Mum had her final chemo treatment two weeks ago.
- I had my birthday last week.
- Angela left the company one day before my birthday.
- Sharon had her birthday one day after mine.
- Sharon was married last Sunday.
- J.K. Rowling released her last Harry Potter book one day before Sharon's wedding.1
- Sharon's grandmother passed away one day after her matrimony.
- I overcame my procrastination today and finally opened a trading account.
Other than the relief that Mum manages to endure through the entire chemotherapy, Sharon's marriage affected me quite a bit. I mean, Sharon, one of my very few good friends, has become a wife of another overnight, whereas for me, I'm still looking around for a soul mate. Seeing her getting married reminds me of my desire of settling down, and that is one painful emotion I hate to have it stirring within me.
Life is full of ups and downs. And life is so short. Before I know it, I've already lived more than one-third of my expected life expectancy. Despite feeling as if it happened yesterday, Mum had already undergone one surgery and eight chemotherapies. Life is too exhilarating a ride for the faint of heart, and most of the time, I spent it agonizing over things that I should have done which I did not. I seldom regret, as I believe regretting is one soul draining emotion, but I don't seem to be doing any better with agonizing either.
God has blessed me so much, but I have squandered almost everything. However, a fellow Sunday school teacher sent me an inspiring Powerpoint, and in it, the following sticked in my mind:
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.
Life is one journey that having a companion can help to ease the downward spiraling moments. For now, I just have to believe Christ is more than enough for me in this journey. I have the ability and freedom to choose how I want to spend the rest of my life. Since I still have quite a distance to cover for this journey, I think I might as well choose to be joyful... :)
1 Actually, I was not really excited about it.
1 comment:
Hi SL,I can totally understand how you feel... for me, its just finding my feet again, marriage is just a new chapter in life and I am still trying to cope. I do hope and pray that you can find that someone special.. life still goes on even though you might think the pasture is greener at the other end. The trick is, you must try to appreciate life and live in the present, the future will take care of itself. After all, isn't that God's promise to us mortal men? Ren
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