Just to share my crappy out-of-office message (from last year).... (And yes, since it was done when my creative juice was at its fullest, countless syntax errors abound in the message itself....)

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I'll be out of the office from 1-Dec-2005 till 7-Dec-2005 (yes, I'm clearing my block leave.)

During this period:

For matters relating to the XXX Upgrade Project, please contact my superior, Fiona, @YYYYYYYY.

For matters relating to the ZZZ, you must be nobody else but Ivy or Lu Meng, so please contact Jennifer Lim.

If you don't fall under any of the previous 2 groups of people, then most likely you are:

1. My parents... No, wait! My parents don't send emails to me.
2. My girlfriend..... wait, I don't have a girlfriend yet!
3. My superior, Fiona. I've brought work home and am diligently working on them at home too.... Honest!
4. A fellow colleague from Settlements, sending me all the daily deals. Rest assured that Jennifer Lim and Vincent Chua would also have received your files, and in a couple of days, you will receive a "mail unsent" failure message cos my mailbox would be full by then.
5. A fellow colleague, informing me of the jogging session this week. Sorry, but right now, I think I might still be slogging in the children's camp, giving me the workout more intense than anything else.
6. A fellow colleague, sending mass internal notification/circulation, which I will try to read and pass those non-confidential info to my girlfriend after reading.
7. A friend, forwarding emails to me (most likely non-work related). Don't worry, just keep those mails coming.
8. A friend, requesting help from me. I'll try to get back to you, although I believe by then, either your problem has already been solved, or your superior is already breathing fire down your neck and you couldn't send me anymore emails.
9. A fellow brother- or sister-in-Christ, sending me your prayer request. I'm sorry that I couldn't pray for you, although be assured that I would love to when I'm aware of it.
10. A friend, asking me out for lunch/dinner. Most likely you would either be Sharon, Wan Lee, Leeanne, or Francisca (although I also hope you would be "my 'the one'"). Thanks for asking, and I'll try to rearrange and meet you once I'm back.
11. A spammer, sending an email to, what else, spam my mailbox. Please note that this email account is not monitored, so noone is going to read your spam anyway. Save yourself the trouble and remove this email address from your spam list.
12. Myself, sending emails to make my mailbox full, thus creating the illusion that people love to correspond with me.
    

Otherwise, if you are none of the above, you have reached the wrong party, although it would take a very remote chance for it to happen in the first place.

Thanks and have a blessed day ahead. (And thanks for reading all these "crap"... haha....)

Disclaimer: All the points stated above do not reflect the Company's opinions, nor do they constitute mine.

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Now, the problem is: would I be able to outdo myself again? Hmmm.......