"Haven't you given up on her?" one of my friends asked while we were waiting for his bus to arrive.

I think this is one question I guess most people won't understand unless they are on the same side of the story like mine, which is: the one being rejected/ditched.

More often than not, the person dishing out the rejection would include "We can still be friends" or something similar when rejecting the person who likes him/her. I think it is only normal, kinda like a package thing; otherwise, it will feel incomplete somehow. That is one of the statements that's really easier said than done.... Ok, maybe the one saying it will find it easier, but definitely not for the one at the receiving end.

"Oh come on, it's been more than a year already...."

Perhaps it may be far easier for some people to accept the rejection, but for some, including myself, it is a painful experience. This is especially true when the person being rejected has already decided to love the other party without reserve. But shouldn't that be the case? Even before entering a relationship? I believe it is only when I know that I can [love unreservedly] then I will enter into one. (Oh well, the sad truth is, I've never been in a relationship before.) What if it was only a crush? What if it was only a physical attraction? What if....?? There's so many "what if"s and in order not to hurt anyone in the process, I've chosen the stupidest way to love. (And of course, in the end, I'll only hurt myself when things don't work out. At least, the damage done is minimized.)

And back to the "we can still be friends" issue, I believe the 2 persons involved (the rejecting and the rejected) can really be "just friends" as long as there's time AND space given to the rejected. Although it's a universal truth that time can heal any pain, space is the other required factor for a truly complete healing. For me, I need at least one year for complete healing to take place. Even a female friend of mine agreed that it is impossible for "just be friends" to take place immediately.

The process for me is progressing at a "2 steps forward and 1 step back" speed since I would normally see her in church on almost every Sunday. The situation is worsened as I might even see her on alternate Saturdays since we are in the same worship team, and also hanging out with the same group of friends.

I know it's no point losing a friend just because I was rejected, but it all take time and space for me to pick up and assemble the bits and pieces of my broken heart... I think I have started picking... albeit slower than expected... I just want her understanding...