I really, really, really miss SK very much today. Although we parted ways yesterday at about 11pm, I cannot help but miss her so much. Why, Father, why are you torturing my heart so much?

"My child, you have to be patient; you have to wait."

"But, Father, haven't I waited long enough? I have waited for so long before this wonderful woman appear in my life."

"No, my child, I have been preparing you, molding you all these time. For now, you have to learn to wait before me."

"But I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together! I love her so much!"

"But you haven't loved me enough. You have also not learned waiting before me patiently."

"But Father, haven't you given me the convictions earlier? Now, I cannot imagine living without her... I want to be with her... I care not for the world; I just want give all my love to her." I teared.

"My child, aren't you going to give me your love too?"

"....."

"My child, I know your struggles, desires, and, well, simply your heart. But you have to learn to trust in [me] with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge [me], and [I] will make your paths straight."¹

"...." I cried.

"My child, be still and listen to me. I come not in the wind, earthquake, or fire, but in silence² I whisper to you. Still your heart, wait before me patiently. By then, you will no longer care about the answer you seek; you will rejoice in me in good and bad times³."

Lead me in Your ways....

¹ Proverbs 3:5-6

² The full text is from 1 Kings 19:11b-12 "Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." This was how God spoke to Elijah the prophet.

³ This is the gist of Habakkuk 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."