I don't know why but it seems that I've became an easy target for people hurling insults at me. Well, most likely they think that I am stupid (why can't I tell whether an option is in-the-money or out-of-the-money? Why can't I differentiate join-points from point-cuts?), dumb (why am I still holding a torch for Elena?), a loser (why haven't I ever been in a relationship for my entire life?), poor (why do I have so little assets under my name?) and ugly (why am I keeping long hair, especially when my hair is curly, and have a vomit-inducing face?)

Yes, maybe to these people, I am just a lowly life-form, leeching on Earth's precious resources, and should simply vanish, making the world a better place for these "superior beings". And yes, I gladly accept that I am a lowly life-form, simply because I am made out of nothing but dust (how high a life-form can dust be anyway?). Yes, I also gladly admit that I am as much a loser as I can possibly be in the eyes of the world. However, I know that I am but an alien of this world. I admit that I often fall into the traps of looking at myself and, at times, others through the eyes of the world - to be successful in life, one must be intelligent, rich, have high EQ, have a beautiful wife/handsome husband, etc). A lot of people think that I am wrong to have dreams (for example, what's wrong with dreaming having a blissful marriage with Elena?) and I should wake up and continue to play my role as a lowly life-form.

I believe everyone is precious to God, even for lowly life-forms like me. Yes, none of us are equal according to the world's standards, but in God's eyes, everyone is equally precious. God does not favor one over the other; He does not despise one more than the other too. There is nothing we can do to earn more favor from Him, nor is there anything that we do can anger Him more. Yes, I fall short of the glory of God, but so does everyone else. Am I comforting myself with these beliefs? Perhaps to the eyes of those who find satisfaction by gaining recognition from his/her peers, I am simply deceiving myself. But do I give a damn? No.

Take my affections for Elena as an example. Some of my peers think that I am being idealistic/dumb/hopeless for having so much feelings for a person I barely know. After some reflections, I found that these friends were simply telling me that they were smarter and they knew better 'cos of their richer "life experiences". Yes, thank you very much, my friends, but I give thanks to God for giving me a heart to pour out my feelings to the one I like. If prayer warriors can pray earnestly for the victims of natural disasters/wars whom they barely know, why am I wrong to display affections for a lady I barely know? Fine, I may be comparing apples with oranges here, but the main point is: I can love someone with no reserves. How many people can do this? As far as I know, not many. Most people expect their boyfriends/girlfriends to love them more than they do, and commonly, the "amount" of love they give depends on the "amount" their boyfriends/girlfriends give.

Am I trying to imply, in this blog entry, that I wiser/morally superior than most people? No, I don't, 'cos in God's eyes, all of man's wisdom are foolishness. What I am implying is that God has given us different gifts, so it is very important to respect those differences. I think it is acceptable to give advice, but if the other party find it unsuitable/inappropriate for his/her situation, respect his/her decision (and don't pass judgment or hurl insults at him/her). Should one day the friend you are giving advice to finds that he/she is indeed folly in rejecting your kind words, give him/her words of comfort and remind him/her to reflect and learn from his/her mistakes.

Let's make this stay more bearable by "loving your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27).

PS: I think this entry might start a flame war with some of my friends, and for that, I apologize in advance. This entry is not targeted at anyone; it is simply me "thinking out loud."